I must preface this post with its purpose… it is not for sympathy. In reality it is a post filled with transparent feelings and big reminders from Jesus that I am nothing without Him. So…if you care to read on…
I’ve been a bit missing from the blog front for several weeks. But, I promise, I have really good excuses. It has been a crazy too many weeks filled with sicknesses and so many frustrations. But, I must say that through each of these I have learned so much about myself and about my loving Jesus who seeks to daily mold me into a vessel fit for His service.
To be totally honest, this post could go on for days with every detail in its place. But, I’m trying to concisely put it all into one to avoid over boredom!
Since Christmas time it was as if we got hit with strep multiple times, multiple ear infections in several munchkins and more. When we finally walked away from that we headed into full blown flu season. And, yes, you guessed correctly…. days later our youngest awoke in the middle of the night with puke all over her and her crib. Then another….and another. It was days of constant puke cleanup, snuggles, crazy hair, too much coffee, and very little sleep. (I know there are many out there who can relate) Many times in the moments when my body felt I could go no more, when my mouth began to grumble, and when my heart began to ache…Jesus gave Himself to me in ways I cannot even begin to describe. It was in these moments He showed me that I needed to run to Him. That I could not do the day without Him, because He is my ultimate sufficiency. Ouch, my toes felt stepped on daily as I ventured through too many laundry piles, sunning mattresses, rolled up rugs, and sick children everywhere knowing that I had to run to Christ. Then, mommy got it! 😒 The flu was shared for over two weeks, and we remained home….ALL the time minus one or two well ones going for groceries, etc. Our home received Spring cleaning multiple times and it had been weeks since our whole family had been to church. My children had watched more videos than they had in the last year altogether. The bags under my eyes darkened, and we could have supplied our county with saltines and gingerale. So, we were excited as a Wednesday night approached and we appeared fine to all be able to go. Then, I noticed my oldest daughter scratching her head on the way out the door. My heart sunk to the lowest as I realized quickly she had lice. She had been someplace the week before so I figured that was where it got caught, but I hoped and prayed she hadn’t spread it. To my dismay, that answer was no and I made all the kids come back from church and began a 3 week long saga as we fought a lice infestation. Every item in my home that could be washed was!! EVERYTHING! Every rug was sprayed and rolled up, mattresses were bombed, and I went into crazy mode. Furniture was covered, and life changed.
After everything was washed and dried, we put in large bags and put them in the upstairs of the garage for safe keeping until I knew this was over. We lived with the bare minimum for the next few weeks. Every night we’d lay out sheets on the living room floor and give each kid one small pillow and a throw blanket. When they woke each morning, we’d pull all that bedding and wash and dry it while I picked hair for hours. It kinda became a routine and we kinda tried to laugh about it, but I knew I was worn out to the fullest. A week into that mess, one of the kids woke up in the middle of the night and puked all over, I broke. It was like the floodgates opened. No sleep happened that night for me, and I had to run to Jesus the next day even more. I failed to mention that when I did the lice treatment on the rest of the family, I did it on my head too. Little did I know that I was allergic to something in the treatment and had a burnt/raw head as proof. My pain tolerance is very high, but I felt I couldn’t take much more. I was in constant communication with a nurse who was getting help from a doctor to get me some sort of relief. That day was extra hard too because my husband was gone all day for some training. And, as much help as I had sought from the outside I didn’t want to ask anyone else to walk into a lice and flu infested home. lol
So, the mountains of laundry continued, and this momma was constantly reminded of how blessed I was to have 5 darling littles. They were watching their mommy make mistake after mistake to situations around that were humanely overwhelming. I am so thankful that God can teach us and grow us through the tough stuff. The flu continued and I refused to take them to the doctor for fear they’d catch something else. The worst seemed past us and a new day had sprung. One had been up through the night and had puked, but she seemed better. I hadn’t found any lice for 3 days in a row. But, I still religiously picked my kids hair 4-5 times a day. (my head is itching just typing this)😑 Jesus woke me up at 4:30 that morning and wouldn’t let me go back to “sleep.” I carried on a conversation with Him out loud going back and forth at how exhausted I was. I quickly realized it was He who wanted my utmost attention. I had a sweet time in prayer and Bible study and felt ready to tackle another day. I texted my sweet husband and pleaded for extra prayer for the day. That was at 7:00. Then, 7:30 happened…. I was brushing my sweet Chloe’s hair on the front porch (we were watching the sun come up), when she stopped talking and dropped. It’s a long story, but my sweet one had a seizure in front of me. It’s hard not to get emotional even in the typing, but I kept thinking, “Lord, this is why you woke me early, you knew I needed an extra dose of You today! Thank you.” Our home was in an uproar as children sat in their corners crying for their sister as medical teams came and went. A darling friend came and stayed with my children as I rode in the ambulance with Chloe. Many tests have happened since, and there are still no answers.
But, I was shocked into a realization that Jesus is all I need no matter the good or bad that comes with a day. I still picked heads for days later and prayed every time that I wouldn’t find anything! Monday came and we brought in all the bags of decor, linens, bedding, etc. Upon opening the bags, it was discovered that the rain storm days before had somehow found a leak allowing 3 of those bags to be filled with mold. I went to work trying to save as much as possible including several trips to a laundromat between dentist visits, but we lost most of the items in those 3 bags. The whole time, my kids kept saying, “momma, aren’t you glad it was only 3 bags and not all of them?” And, I didn’t have to throw away my absolute favorites. It was a good reminder that it could have been worse.
I’ll leave you with a bit of humor from this all. I am now probably labeled “one of those moms” now in the doctors offices and stores. I come in with my big thing of wipes and wipe everything down before my kids can even breathe near it! 😉I think I’m embarrasing them, but I don’t want another cent of germs in this house or on our heads if I can help it. 😁
So, dear friends, I don’t know what situation you find yourself within today, this week, this month… but remember God’s purpose is simply for you to rest in Him, for you to grow through it, for you to know that He is in control and seeks to be your big Jesus through it. Have a happy week!